Oooh La

Yeah the title of the post is after a song by The Kooks. Am on a bit of a bender since the latest weekend listening to and YouTubing Luke Pritchard and gang to the point where I can probably can sing 'Tick of Time' backwards. (If you haven't already realised that I have weird moments, then this is proof.)

So apart from mulling over the bizarre end of my latest whirlwind romance with AJ and getting hit on by an aircon repairman from China en route to work this morning, I had a good think about how friends or rather people grow up and get to certain points in life sooner or later. The thing is, the point(s) never changes. Whether it's about sorting your life out and getting a proper job and climbing the career ladder, or choosing to stop playing the field and settling down with a semi-respectable human or just learning how to make your own bed, the milestones so to speak, generally remain the same for most people. It's the amount of time it takes and the shit in between that happens that varies with individuals.

Whilst in Europe I exchanged a couple of emails with a mate of mine who lives in New Zealand. I've known Spazz for eons now and we once had a little relationship that was short-lived because we knew that we were designed to be nothing more than mates. Before he moved back to New Zealand Spazz and I used to catch up regularly and exchange notes on our equally sordid love lives over kebabs and bottles of wine. He even met my last serious ex D a few times and it was all cool. I miss having him around because he travels a god awful lot with his job and emails are sometimes sporadic and sometimes there's no contact for months. But when we do write or get in touch, we just pick up where we left off. Nice to know that distance never conquers some things.

Anyway, I got a mail out of the blue when I was in Europe.

From Spazz
>>>> On 21-Mar-2011, at 4:00 PM, @gmail.com> wrote:
So...........how mad are wid me?
Are you ok doll?

From me
>>> On 22/03/2011, @gmail.com> wrote:
Geezer! Where the feck have you been?!?

I'm all right. Am actually at Chamonix at the moment traveling with a
mate across europe. Heading towards Rome tmrw afternoon. How the hell are u mister?

From Spazz
>> On 22-Mar-2011, at 5:30 PM, @gmail.com> wrote:
Oh wow living the good life aye? Awesome and well done.

I am doing fab. Currently in sydney for another week. So yeh I have settled down. Ahem. Yep i m off the market doll. I knw u are jus severely dissapointed rite? Lol.

Had to be done and its awesum. No majic weirdness. Just awesumness. Lol.

Wots new with you?

From me
> On 23/03/2011, @gmail.com> wrote:
Settled down eh? Did you get married without telling me then??!! Lol.

Well am all for awesomeness mate you know that! What's new with me? Well on vacation at the moment. Just happily exploring the world with a friend. There's a bf back home and he's cool. Time will tell I guess. I've kinda chilled out a whole lot after splitting up with D. Been out with a few people since but nothing special. Have got a good feeling about the current one but hey, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Not gonna be surprised if he turns out to be a complete fuckwit either. ;)

Good to know you're all settled mate. That's pretty awesome news really!! So when do I get to meet her? Or him?! Or did you fall in love with a sheep!!? Lol... ;)

Take care geez, it's always good to hear from you. X :)

From Spazz
>On Tuesday, March 22, 2011, @gmail.com> wrote:
Thx for the updation hun.

I am glad u are all free and cozy. I enjoyed all of that and it got bit addictive.

But life is all about changes and chances and I am embracing that fullly now.

Maybe u will get to meet her. Who knows. She is very tradional and I luv that. I had been with too many skanks I guess. I am relishing the KISS principle now. Keep It Simple Stoopid.

You are a very kool mate. Always a special pleasure meeting and chatting with u. We clicked day1.

Jus be ureself doll I luv the way u are

____________________________________________________________________

Okay so Spazz's spelling leaves something to be desired but like I said, we always carry on wherever we last left off. And it's nice to know that he's finally found someone to slow things down with and take it easy with in pure awesomeness. :) Truth be told, some of the antics that Spazz used to get up to and the women he used to get involved with used to worry the life out of me. I was always waiting for him to sit at the table one day and tell me he'd banged some random woman up or was involved in breaking someone's marriage up. I wouldn't put it past him. He is and always has been capable of doing all those things so it's a bit of a shock to the system to hear that he's changed his ways and decided to stick with one and just the one.

Before you think that this is me thinking that I wish things has been different between Spazz and myself, then let me stop you right there and tell you that's just all wrong. Like I said before, we're mates and though I love Spazz dearly, I don't have any desire to pursue anything other than the solid friendship we've built together over the years. I suppose the point I am trying to make through all of this is that we're all essentially the same. Yeah, Spazz has acted like a right bastard during some occasions in the past and treated some people really poorly and I am pretty sure at some point in time some girl somewhere who got her heart broken by him must have sat and swore and called him every vile name that exists in the book meant for dickheads. I'm just saying that just because he was an arsehole once or many upon a time, it doesn't mean he is incapable of changing his ways.

It takes a lot of courage and maturity for someone to Spazz to stop dicking about and stick to one person. Then again, it could really be about the idiot falling in love. Finally!!! It's about bloody time mate!

In any case, I am happy for him. Yeah my personal life isn't the greatest but it's nice when things go well for my friends because in some weird, obscure way, I share their joy too. :)

Oh and if you have never heard of The Kooks, please go throw yourself under the next passing bus.

Because People Maketh the Man

And so I met Spooner's friends over the recent long weekend. It's not the first time though. The first time was during a touch rugby match on the beach where I was tackled headlong by a full-grown man barreling into me at about 5 kilometers per hour. Note to my female readers - DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOU. I felt like I had been hit by a concrete wall and I'm surprised I didn't break a rib.

Last weekend was little less physically intense. Well not really, considering I drank about 10 bottles of Heineken over a 5 hour period and I felt like dying the next morning. But the night in itself was not all that bad. The rendevous point was KPO and the drinks just kept coming. It was interesting to see Spooner in a social situation and it was quite nerve wracking for me to sit there and partake in conversations with a few people that I had never met before. I can only hope that I made a positive impression. You know how it gets when you've been drinking. Tongues get looser as people become more relaxed. Things you normally wouldn't say in a different situation come flying out of people's mouths and you don't really reflect on what they're saying until your hangover has properly worn off about 3 days later. :P

Being the only female in the entire group was pretty pressurizing. And there was also the fact that a couple of guys present didn't say a single word to me throughout the whole night. I pondered this quite a bit and could only draw two conclusions: a) they did not know what to say to me (I suppose the pressure works both ways), and b) they just simply did not like me. In the event that the latter reason is true, I refuse to be disheartened. I mean, how can you decide whether you like someone if you pretend to be mute the whole time? Personally, I am not one for snap judgments and I usually don't have people 'disliking' me for no reason. Yes, there have been a few but then again, those folks are insane. (Disclaimer: If you're one of those 'I make my mind up in 20 seconds' kinds, please stop reading and go away. Thankyouverymuch.)

Overall the friends proved to be an interesting bunch. Journalists, traders, insurance people, all sorts. My thoughts on this are quite positive. After all, if all his friends came from the same industry, then all the conversations would be monopolized by work and what the hell would I (or most people), know about marine underwriting? Hence, the diversity proved to be a good thing because it meant a range of topics could be discussed and different opinions could be expressed. Furthermore, it gave me some insight into Spooner's randomness. The man has thrown me off guard on several occasions and I've found myself knitting my eyebrows in bewilderment at some of the things that fly out of his mouth. Having hung out with the friends I suppose I have come to a semi-conclusion that it was probably wrong of me to try and fit him into a mould. Yes, most of us fall into one category or type of person but I don't know him well enough to stick a label on him just yet. But it is nice to sort of understand what sort of person he is. And believe me, you can tell a lot about a person from the friends they keep.

However here comes the quandary as I am now wondering how soon or is it still too soon for him to meet my friends. I suppose in these foreign dating situations, one is expected to reciprocate actions to a certain degree. Alas, I am also quite aware that most of my friends are in no hurry to do the 'meet the mates' thing. After all, it's only been a mere five weeks now. Besides, I can hardly say that I know the guy well enough because everytime we hang out I find out something new about him. For example, he has a weird obsession with drinking tons of water. He says it's because he dehydrates easily. I say it's more about him trying to avoid grabbing a beer or a Coke from the fridge each time he is thirsty.

In any case he has asked me to go his friend's birthday party with him next weekend. I suppose it will be another chance to meet more of his friends. The weekend after I will be in Bali with my erstwhile friends (woohoo!) so that's a little bit of time off from him and his entourage which could prove to be a valuable opportunity to sit and think about things. And maybe, just maybe I might consider letting him meet some people from my social circle after that trip. But I refuse to get ahead of myself. Let me live out the next couple of weeks before I make any decisions.

Okay, I shall now attempt to go something productive...like create a massive deliverable list. How bloody exciting.

Social Intercourse

I have this theory that if I ever have the misfortune (or total suay-ness in local speak), to get marooned alone on a deserted island, my death will be the result of isolation. Sure, I could die a hundred other ways... death by typhoid, death by dysentery, death by starvation or dehydration, death by coconut falling on head or death by being mauled by local grumpy bear on island (shut up, I know there aren't any bears on tropical islands, oh wait, are there?).

Hence, assuming that I survive the odds and somehow manage to stay alive, the one thing that will surely kill me then would be the lack of human interaction. Over the weekend I met up with my girlfriend J for dinner and a night out. We weren't exactly partying very hard because we sat and watched the band at La Baroque the whole night but for me, it was like someone had finally pulled a plastic bag off my head and allowed me to breathe. I realized somewhere between pint no. 3 and pint no. 4, just how much I miss being around people.

The recently-ended relationship was VERY insular. It is quite scary that over a period of 3.5 years, as a couple, we never made any new friends as a unit, and neither did either one of us expand our own social circles. If anything, the number of personal friends on either side shrunk. Why? Simple really. We spent too much time together. This could have been avoided I suppose. Alas, the ex is severely paranoid and insecure. The reason I could only go out with him or hang out with my friends with him in situ is because he was always worrying that I would run off with someone else.

Was that a valid concern? Maybe. I am not saying that I wouldn't have done it. But before you point your finger and yell, "Promiscuous harlot!", let me explain that I am not inclined to jump into bed with every male I find remotely attractive. If I am in a serious relationship with someone, I am committed to be faithful, unless I get pushed into a corner that I see no way out of.

I suppose I should have been more proactive about dealing with the situation as well. I could have made more effort to find time to hang out with my friends so that I wouldn't feel so neurotic about having all my weekends burnt with the ex. Yes, we spent every weekend together and 90% of the time, no one else would be involved. There are two ways of looking at this. Spending time with your significant other after a shitty week of work is good. You both learn to relax together, and enjoy the time off in whichever way you see fit. Alas, if you do this every effing week, you're going to end up in a mind-numbing routine that drains you. After a while, there is no more relaxation because you start straining to think of new ways to spend your time together, of new places to go to and of new things to say to each other.

This is why couples should be allowed to have time-outs from each other. Sure you're a couple and it's a bit like a package deal. Buy one, get the other free (even if you don't want it). In any case, it is healthy to spend time away from your partner once in a while to hang out with your friends, meet new people (not to sleep with), but to learn new things, expand your horizons, hone your social skills and become a more well-rounded individual. Most importantly, it keeps you from going barking mad and killing your partner with a biscuit tin.

So to all my friends that I have abandoned over the past few years, I would like to say a big, 'Sorry'. I miss you guys and for those who have been there with me regardless of whatever has materialized, I am forever grateful for your friendship. I know I'm an Aquarian and that on the surface we look all calm, stoic and aloof but in truth, we're all closet basket cases. I know I would be nothing (or maybe just insane) without my friends and I hope they stay close for a long time to come.

:) :) :)