Honestly Now

People are no longer honest these days.

No, I'm not calling the whole word a bunch of conniving liars. I'm just saying that people have become too good at packaging the truth to suit different situations. I would know this all too well because my job requires me to package information all the time. No, we don't lie outright but sometimes the reality of the situation is not altogether pleasant, hence the need to package it so that we highlight the best aspects and hope that people don't go dig up the not-so-nice aspects and feel like they've been taken for a ride. Believe me, the packaging is everything.

The downside of being trained to do this professionally is that I read people and conversations better than most. Now, this can be both bane and boon. At times you thank your brains and the stars for your ability to see through the multiple layers of bullshit that people try to fling at you and deal with the morons appropriately. On the flipside, sometimes when you realize that someone's trying to pull wool over your eyes, you get angry and more often than not, disappointed that the person in question would try to blindside you. The worst part about this though is the fact that you constantly anticipate that someone is going to disappoint you and you wait on tenterhooks for that moment to arrive. It means you second-guess when there is no reason to. It means your glass is always half empty. It's absolute bollocks but you just can't help but do it because your belief in human behaviour translates to one simple thing alone - people are not meant to be trusted.

Okay I confess. I have battled with trust issues for just about forever. It's natural for me to expect the worst all the time because it's easier to say, "I knew it", when something goes awry as opposed to going, "I never thought this would happen to me." Preempting the worse-case scenario is a defence mechanism through and through and I try very hard to not build entire forts around myself. Easier said than done which is why I struggle with letting people into my life. It also explains why I come across as someone who is cold, aloof and with a hard exterior that cannot be cracked. In reality, I am a giant softie but my pragmatic approach to dealing with people usually gets the better of me.

I sometimes wish that people would just be honest. Honesty is a liberating virtue. When you have nothing to hide your mind is relaxed and your conscience is free. However people have become almost too good at packaging the truth. Take for example the fact that Spooner told me that one of his best mates used to date a girl for 5 years and then moved overseas to work. Things fell apart when the ex-girlfriend realized that he was two-timing her with another girl in the country he was working in. Yeah, he told me that his best mate was a bit of a bastard for doing it and I reacted with the appropriate amount of shock. What he did not tell me was that the best mate had got the other girl pregnant overseas. How I found out is not important but believe me, the source is extremely reliable. It was as good as hearing it from the woman herself. :P

This is what I mean by packaging the truth. Yes, the story is true but it was not the whole truth. A key detail was left out on purpose. Why? Self-censorship is one thing but telling you three-quarters of the truth and then leaving the rest hidden is just bizarre. It makes you wonder if everything you've ever been told has more to it than meets the eye. Of course it's natural to want to paint yourself and your friends in the most flattering light but just how far do you go?

Again, this is not about fabricating facts. This is about putting a select amount of truth into a box, wrapping it up in shiny paper and finishing it off with pretty little ribbon on the top. Presenting the selected truth in this manner makes it easier to accept and the chances of you doubting any of it is less likely as well. I know a lot of people who do this and pardon me for saying this, but I think it's utterly fucked up. How can you go through your life doing that? And my other question is, just how much effort do you go through trying to put all your little half-truths into boxes to suit different people and scenarios? It must take a colossal effort to do that all the time and even more energy to remember what version of the truth you told to which person. The irony is that if you ever get caught out by someone, they're not going to care if you told them 89% of the truth or not because you're just going to be branded a liar either way.

Put it this way, there's no such thing as a big lie and little lie. And there's only so far you can go with packaging truths until you run out of boxes, wrappers and ribbons and they come back to bite you in the arse. Hard.