Hello, hello, hello.

Shalom.

Pardon me, I'm not Jewish - I'm just a resurrected blogger. I have commitment issues with writing but now that I'm older, maybe I'll turn kosher. In any case, welcome to the blog. Before the lizard activists around the world come banging down my door with pitchforks, torches and the odd crucifix, let me just state for the record, that the Gecko Vendetta has nothing to do with my intense desire to wage war against my reptilian friends. I'd be lying if I said I didn't mind geckos taking up permanent lodgings in my flat so in short, I do mind, but I'm not out to kill them. We usually give each other a pretty wide berth spanning several walls so it's quite a peaceful co-existence. I only wish they would learn how to go potty properly.

There's a lot I would like to achieve with this blog. However, to list those aims would be a) too serious, b)dementedly geeky and, c)utterly pointless because I'm just one of those people who has severe listrophobia. Imagine a toe cramp and multiply it by the total number of toes that you have. It's almost like Chinese water torture, just without any dripping.

And so, I aim to entertain with the thoughts that meander through my somewhat befuddled and some may say, strange brain. You're welcome to be part of this experience if you have an open mind and it would probably help if you have a warped sense of humour.

Well it's time for me to go find my inspiration (known as dinner). If you'll excuse me, I need to go rent an ass and get my butt on the road to my literary Damascus.