Remember the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz? I have this theory that at some point in all our lives, every one of us gets like that character. In fact, it probably happens quite often but we just never stop to think long enough about it.
Fear brings out the worst in people. Mankind's history is riddled with examples. People fear change. People fear the unknown. People fear that tomorrow will result in a lack of something. People fear loss. People fear rejection. People fear death. People fear bloody people.
Okay so those things all sound like big ticket items, none of which you think are relevant to you. Let me make it more bite-sized then.
When's the last time you stood up for something you believed in? Be it religion, be it a school of thought, be it an opinion of yours... just how many times have you stood up for something that had meaning to you? It doesn't have to be dramatic but if you disagree with someone at work and you believe that your opinion counts for something, do you stand up and say, "Sod all of this, I don't buy this bullshit and this is why" or do you just swallow your pride, nod mutely in total agreement with whoever is lording the alternative over your head and just go with the rest of the herd? Guilty of the latter? Sure you are. I am too. Hooray! Let's throw a party for the losers eh? :)
How about a different example. Like staying in relationship that you know is unhealthy and bad for you in the long run. Sure, you've been together a while and sure, it's all good on the outside but you know there's issues underneath. Your partner may have cheated on you and you decided to stay on even though you've been horribly hurt and you know things will never quite be the same. Or you know that your feelings for your partner are no longer the same and it's getting hard to pretend that everything is all fine and dandy but you just can't bring yourself to say it out loud and deal with the matter. Or you've been together so bloody long that you can't even recall how you even met but he/she doesn't want to take to the next level and you know that you want to do something about it because God knows, it plagues you even in your dreams but you choose to sit there like a deaf/dumb/blind statue all because you have no idea what the consequences will be and you're mighty frightened about any or all possibilities. Guilty? Oh yes, me too. Guilty of being too fearful to take action. Guilty of being too afraid to make a decision. Guilty of not being honest with oneself. Guilty of being so, so, scared that pissing in your pants seems like a less formidable option.
Right, how about I flip the picture around. Ever liked someone but never had the courage to tell the person? Why? Afraid of being rejected of course. Ever wanted to put your hand up and say, "I can do this. Let me do it", but you never raised your skinny arm up because you were afraid of having a bunch of people pointing and bellowing with laughter at your machismo? Ever thought of giving up the everyday grind and going to travel the world, living on a shoestring budget but chucked the idea because, "Oh my god...what if...you know...what if..?!" Yeah what bloody if, indeed.
I suppose 9 out of 10 people who read this will go, "You don't understand. We've been together so long and I love my partner. It's not easy." Sure. Of course it isn't. I'm not asking you to walk out on your relationship. All I'm saying is, grow some balls and deal with the situation. How will you know if there is anything worth salvaging if you're not even sticking one toe into the pond to test the water?
And then I suppose another 9 out of 10 people who read this will go, "You don't understand. I can't stand up during the meeting and say all these things because I'll lose my job and everyone will pelt me with their tuna sandwiches." Really? Do you really know that to happen or is that just a fantasy scenario that you conjured up on one of your more creative days? Again, my point is, if you don't try, how will you sodding know if people will really react that way?
Oh and of course the final 9 out of 10 people who read this will go, "You don't understand. I cannot go up to so-and-so-person-whom-I-care-about-immensely-but-have-never-spoken-more-than-three-words-to-in-the-past-5-years and tell her/him how I feel because...tsk, just look at him/her! I'm not good enough. He/She will never fancy moi!" Seriously, this warrants being clubbed on the head repeatedly with a full pencil case.
Whatever your reasons may be, big or small, valid or invalid, reasonable or just plain stupid, I am sure you have all those reasons in place because of some type of fear. And of course you're entitled to them, entitled to live with them too like a bag of spiders you lug around... and you can grant yourself an occasional peek into the spider-bag and freak out once in a while too. It's your choice and ultimately your life but just think of how different things might be if only you could deal with those spiders.
Courage dear hearts, courage. You owe it to no one but yourselves.
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