I have this theory that if I ever have the misfortune (or total suay-ness in local speak), to get marooned alone on a deserted island, my death will be the result of isolation. Sure, I could die a hundred other ways... death by typhoid, death by dysentery, death by starvation or dehydration, death by coconut falling on head or death by being mauled by local grumpy bear on island (shut up, I know there aren't any bears on tropical islands, oh wait, are there?).
Hence, assuming that I survive the odds and somehow manage to stay alive, the one thing that will surely kill me then would be the lack of human interaction. Over the weekend I met up with my girlfriend J for dinner and a night out. We weren't exactly partying very hard because we sat and watched the band at La Baroque the whole night but for me, it was like someone had finally pulled a plastic bag off my head and allowed me to breathe. I realized somewhere between pint no. 3 and pint no. 4, just how much I miss being around people.
The recently-ended relationship was VERY insular. It is quite scary that over a period of 3.5 years, as a couple, we never made any new friends as a unit, and neither did either one of us expand our own social circles. If anything, the number of personal friends on either side shrunk. Why? Simple really. We spent too much time together. This could have been avoided I suppose. Alas, the ex is severely paranoid and insecure. The reason I could only go out with him or hang out with my friends with him in situ is because he was always worrying that I would run off with someone else.
Was that a valid concern? Maybe. I am not saying that I wouldn't have done it. But before you point your finger and yell, "Promiscuous harlot!", let me explain that I am not inclined to jump into bed with every male I find remotely attractive. If I am in a serious relationship with someone, I am committed to be faithful, unless I get pushed into a corner that I see no way out of.
I suppose I should have been more proactive about dealing with the situation as well. I could have made more effort to find time to hang out with my friends so that I wouldn't feel so neurotic about having all my weekends burnt with the ex. Yes, we spent every weekend together and 90% of the time, no one else would be involved. There are two ways of looking at this. Spending time with your significant other after a shitty week of work is good. You both learn to relax together, and enjoy the time off in whichever way you see fit. Alas, if you do this every effing week, you're going to end up in a mind-numbing routine that drains you. After a while, there is no more relaxation because you start straining to think of new ways to spend your time together, of new places to go to and of new things to say to each other.
This is why couples should be allowed to have time-outs from each other. Sure you're a couple and it's a bit like a package deal. Buy one, get the other free (even if you don't want it). In any case, it is healthy to spend time away from your partner once in a while to hang out with your friends, meet new people (not to sleep with), but to learn new things, expand your horizons, hone your social skills and become a more well-rounded individual. Most importantly, it keeps you from going barking mad and killing your partner with a biscuit tin.
So to all my friends that I have abandoned over the past few years, I would like to say a big, 'Sorry'. I miss you guys and for those who have been there with me regardless of whatever has materialized, I am forever grateful for your friendship. I know I'm an Aquarian and that on the surface we look all calm, stoic and aloof but in truth, we're all closet basket cases. I know I would be nothing (or maybe just insane) without my friends and I hope they stay close for a long time to come.
:) :) :)
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